2 years, 91,000+ views

 

I missed my actual 2nd anniversary on October 1, 2016 (oops!) so I am writing this late! :)

PAST

Sooo 2 years, what's new?! Well in terms of my blog, I've doubled my views since my 1st blogiversary so I'm anything if not consistent. And my photos have definitely improved.

(one of my first photos from 2014 and a recent photo - both pumpkin cupcakes!) 

In terms of my personal life, I don't even know where to start. When I first started this blog, I was living in Montana. Last year I was living in Idaho and currently I'm living in Nevada.

I've moved 3 times in 3 years.

I also graduated from pharmacy school (PharmD in the house!) and completed a pharmacy residency. Pretty freaking sweet if I do say so. Out of all of my classmates, I am working in the biggest hospital (800+ beds), which I openly feel fabulous bragging about.

But life has been anything but sunshine and roses.

When I think about my blog, I'm a little disappointed. But I've also been disappointed with my life the last few years so I guess my blog is a reflection of that. One of the reasons my blogging inspiration Zoella began blogging was due to the fact that she didn't have very many friends; she reached out through the internet - filled her emptiness and anxiety with blogging. It's actually one of the reasons I fell into blogging too. I was miserable and needed some sort of outlet.

But, I realize I say "but" a lot, BUT now that blogging and vlogging has really taken off and people think they can make millions sitting at home doing basically nothing (or at least they think this is easy!), so many people have entered the realm. It's too hard to become famous or profitable blogging, especially when you do the status quo. So I remain a full time hospital/clinical pharmacist, luckily working four 10 hour shifts/week. Blogging has not been a priority for me so I understand why my blog isn't the greatest.

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that really isn't you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place" -unknown

One of the most annoying things about myself is my ability to be hard on myself. I think it has a lot to do with my own insecurities along with my profession. Being a pharmacist, we are trained to pick out the bad and fix it; find the mistakes and remedy them. We are not as proactive, but instead search for things that have already gone wrong. When I'm at work, and make multiple interventions and improvements in patient care, I always walk out at the end of the day, not thinking what a great job I did, but instead, wondering what I might have messed up... It's a great quality to have because I am constantly trying to improve. But I also end up feeling never quite satisfied; never truly happy and content. It's something I work on every day, trying to appreciate my life and let the little imperfections be. What I've found of myself over the past year is a lot of comparing. I look at other successful bloggers who do this full time and I am jealous of their page views, likes, comments, photos, sponsors, etc. I am jealous of their Instagrams and hate all of my photos - continually striving to be "just like them" when I am anything but. I'm not perfect; my hair isn't always fabulous. I work 40 hours a week at a crazy job and feel like most days I am just trying to keep my head above water. My life isn't perfect but it's real.

I've decided FINALLY to let it all go and start living my own unique life.

So starting right now, my blog is going to become 100% me. No more trying to copy or be like everyone else.

"Why fit in when you are born to stand out?" - Dr. Seuss

In fact, looking back, the times in my life when I had the most amount of friends, and was truly happy, was when I was 100% myself - when I did what I wanted instead of what was popular.

FUTURE

A few new things have happened in my life that I haven't been sharing. First is I moved to Reno, NV for a guy (I'm not longer with) and for a new adventure. And although I am no longer with this guy, I feel like life lead me here. Reno is so full of so much culture and art. There are murals, tattoos galore, so much uniqueness - what a great place to find my muse again. I've been so uncreative lately. I couldn't take a creative picture to save my life. But I am starting to get back into it. I am starting to crave creativity.

So like I said, no more taking pictures or writing posts that might be "popular" or like other famous bloggers. No more comparing myself. I will take photos that are unique, photos that speak, contain emotion, contain realness - none of this "life is perfect and I'm fabulous" Instagram stuff! I am going to embrace my crazy!

"When it comes to art, it's important not to hide the madness" - Atticus

A lot of blogging has to do with your niche... I see so many successful beauty bloggers, mamas, travelers of the world. But I'm not any of those things. I can somehow fumble my way through my makeup, look somewhat put together and fashionable... I travel when I get the chance, I bake when I have the time. I would LOVE to blog about pharmacy and healthcare (being a pharmacist) but I am so afraid of being sued that I stay off the subject (for now!)

After pondering it for a while, I think the new focus of my blog is everyday life. I just picked up and moved to a brand new city for a guy I broke up with. I am 27, single, a healthcare professional, and I just moved to a city where I KNOW NO ONE!

That's my niche. Surviving, figuring it out, being brave, balancing.

I want to be open and raw and real about all of the obstacle and emotions I face. I am SOO sick of PERFECT bloggers and blogs. I'm not perfect; anything but. I try and I am happy so that's what you're going to get in the next year.

Raw, real, and probably messy... So 2 years; sorry if this hasn't been exactly what you think a blogiversay should be... I started a new job in a new town with new friends and endless possibilities.

Here's to finding myself, my muse, and having the life I've worked so hard for and so greatly deserve! I cannot wait to take you on this journey!

PS I'm going to go a little MIA in November because I am planning ahead for blogmas! Also, for the first time in years, I'm starting to feel like myself again so I'm exploring myself and the town, trying to get out of the house and spend less time at home.