I went home last weekend for a wedding and felt something I haven't felt in a long time. For the first time, I feel ready to let people back into my life and, more importantly, my heart. I've always been tenderhearted, and because of that, I take longer to heal.
As I walked to my car after work today, I was struck with the overwhelming desire to teleport my present self into the past to deal with the obstacles I faced then.
"If only I knew then what I know now"
I've made so many mistakes in past relationships. A vast majority of the time, I was hurt by something or someone and didn't know how to express that hurt, or even worse, I didn't recognize the root cause of the pain. Instead of searching myself, I lashed out in anger.
But I've learned that you can't go back; life isn't about do-overs. It's about learning from your mistakes and trying harder next time. I want to start allowing myself to feel and be happy again. I want to let people in, whether that is in the form of a friend or significant other. I think I'm ready to take the lessons of the past and allow them to guide me into a better future. I hope that all the mistakes I've made allowed me to learn and grow so that when I do find the "right person" I can approach the relationship a better woman.
Happy Friday my friends! Here's to new beginnings... and lessons learned :)